Why?

Dear Diary...

It's like I don't deserve to be happy.

'Cause why the heck I always get misfortune whenever I just had temporary-happiness?
It's like I don't deserve to laugh anymore.

'Cause why the heck I always get depressed whenever I am trying to run from it?

It's like I don't deserve to smile anymore.

'Cause why the heck I always finding myself crying alone in the bathroom whenever I just felt a little happiness?
It's like I prohibited to love myself.

'Cause why the heck I always get scrutinized whenever I am trying to accept all of my flaws?

It's like I don't deserve to live, but don't deserve to die either.

'Cause why the heck my life is damned in so many ways, but it makes me scared with death even when I try to die instead?

Why the heck the world is so cruel?

Why the heck the world do this to a little human like me?

Why the heck the world execute me without a little agony?

Why the heck the world imprisoned me but consuming me with no food but poison?
Why the heck did the world didn't even bat an eye to recognize I am dying piece by piece?

I am tired.

I just want to sleep,

But not wake up anymore,

But it's for-ever.